Happy Veterans Day, Marine Corps Birthday

In November 1775.I was born in a bomb crater.

My mother was an M16, and my father was the devil.

Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.

I eat concertina, piss napalm, and can shoot a round through a flea’s ass at 300 meters.

I travel the globe, festering on Anti-Americans, where ever I go, for the love of Mom, Chevrolet, baseball, and apple pie.

I’m a grunt. I’m the dirty, nasty, stinky, sweaty, filthy, beautiful little son of a bitch that’s kept the wolf away from the door for over 225 years.

I’m a United States Marine… We look like soldiers. Talk like sailors. And Slap the Shit out of both of em.

We stole the eagle from the Air force, the rope from the Army, and the anchor from the Navy. And on the seventh day, when god rested, we overran his perimeter, and we’ve been running the show ever since.

Warrior by day, Lover by night, Drunkard by choice, Marine by God…. Semper Fidelis.

The Greatest thing ever made

This is by far the most awesome, stupendous, glorious thing I have ever seen.
If God made Salt, it would be Bacon Salt
http://www.baconsalt.com/

Figs On Fire!!

I made dessert the other night...
here's what you need and how it goes.
6 or so fresh figs, i used black mission, with tops cut off, and quartered.
Tbs of butter.
a few Tbs of brown sugar.
brandy.
I made it just like a banana fosters. I used a cast iron skillet, but any saute pan would work.
melt butter, and add figs. cook them for a few minutes or until they are warm and softening up a bit. Sprinkle on the brown sugar and cook for another minute or so... and then to the fun part. just please watch your eyebrows... add a bunch of brandy and tilt your pan so that the brandy ignites and BAM, you've got your flambe.... at this point i choose to yell OPPA!! The alcohol will cook off and then just turn off the heat and spoon over vanilla ice cream....

a note to people at catered events....

To my people at catered events....
if you did not pay for the event.... and I always am told who did...
do not try to pass yourself off as the person who paid, because this will in no way make up for the fact that you are attempting to talk down to me and you are bieng very very Cunty.
this will not get you whatever it is that you feel you need...
to end this I will leave you with a paraphrased quote from fight club....
"Do not fuck with the people who make and serve your food"

Awesome New Song

Check it out guys, download it for free. Someone I know from high school.

http://davesmallen.com/america/

loss of words meaning + emotional disconnect

Ive been thinking a lot about why I am the way I am. For good and bad I believe being a Marine has had the most impact... To the core basic, I was trained for 6 years in how to kill. Physically it is fairly easy, emotionally not so.. In boot camp you are broken down from your normal being and trained/conditioned to accept something that society teaches you from the start is wrong. Throughout boot, you probably use the word kill 40-80 times a day.. how you ask... well, from things as simple as sweeping, everyone sweeps with a small brush to a cadence of "Sweep, and a response of Kill, Sweep Kill, Sweep, Kill". this is just one example, but after time the word itself loses its meaning. To this day I hear the word sweep, and my first thought is Kill. Very Pavlovian. By the end of thirteen weeks it is ingrained into you. By disassociating the word, you disassociate the act too. And in turn you end up disassociating your emotional connection. You learn to flip off your reception of emotion because it makes you a better Marine, because you put your own emotions on the back burner, and therefore become a better killer. Now, In my day I have seen and done some pretty messed up things. Things that 99% of our population don't want or need to see. Myself, like others I know, while we enjoy and hurtfully appreciate people thanking us for our service.. also sometimes feel ashamed, because we think that if people knew the kinds of things we have done, they would not feel the same toward us. We have learned to deal with these horrible things by putting them away, and not letting them affect us.. But in the end we come out of it, and as for myself I end up with the same emotional disconnect in other aspects of my life. I feel like I have dealt with some of my shit, but am still trying to figure out how to turn the switch back to on. Do I still love my Marine Corps, yes. And would I do it all over again, Hell Ya. Because for good and for bad I still bleed Camo Green. Semper Fi............ bitches!

Are lawn mowers like liberals to Rednecks???

So, in the wake of some crazy news in the last couple weeks. I had a thought. First of all, there are some crazy ass white people out there. We start with one guy, who, drunk out of his mind, cant get his lawn mower to start. So what does he do, he pulls out his sawed off shotgun and shoots it. Can you say Redneck, I can. Next we have, crazy white guy number two, who decides to shoot up a church over its liberal views. Maybe he's scared of the "gays", or the fact that come November, hes not going to have his good old redneck boy running the oval office. Of Course now hes gonna go to federal pound me in the ass prison and take showers with Bubba, who will whore his ass out for cigarettes. ha, karmas a bitch.
So, I ask, Do Crazy white rednecks think Liberals and Lawn Mowers are the same... Maybe they have redneck beer goggles. You tell me. Does anyone see resemblance with Nick Nolte's Mugshot??

Want

Want more than I'm being given, and want to Give more than is being received.

Collar Not for Popping

So I just finished, well almost finished a sweet, easy knitting project. At the encouragement and want of a certain lady friend, (you know who you are). She sent me a link to a great pattern. It also turns out that my wonderful friend PunkRawkPurl had made the same thingy at least 3 times. It is the Pattern "Fourteen" From YarnBallBoogie. I used a sweet Malabrigo aquarella, size 13 needles, but used the Brioche Pattern suggested by PunkRawkPurl called My Favorite. Super Quick, thick, easy scarfy. I finished it in a day, once I stopped messing up the pattern and yarning over the wrong direction.. Now I just need to find some buttons and weave in my edges. and Booyah.

JOB SEARCH

So, searching for a job sucks.. I recently got back into the swing of applying and applying and applying. I'd have to say that finding a job is more work than a full time job.

Oh well, I recently went to the San Fran Renegade Craft fair, which was frickin sweet.. My best purchase was some awesome yarn from Spincycle yarns of Bellingham Wa.

Walked on or Generous

so, sitting here a little drunkies I had some thoughts...
I am a nice person... I have my moments when I do hurt people, but for probly 99% of the time I am the nicest person that I know... I am the type of person that would do basically anything for someone, most of all my friends but even for someone I just met... I would do anything for them and never ask anything in return...
You may say that I am just a sucker... or that I let people walk all over me... This may have some truth to it as well, I don't know....
Maybe nice guys do finish last... or maybe I just keep playing the pawn in someone else's game..
Maybe the fact that I just shrug my shoulders and accept things and other peoples decisions is impeding my life and the things that I want... Maybe I don't communicate what I want and that is why I don't get it..
Maybe if the people that I want closer in my life knew more of how I felt........ they wouldn't push me away....

BOOZE PART 2

Ok kids, here we are for lesson #2 in my booze recipe.

It has been two weeks since I've put my peels with my everclear.Now, part 2

What you Need
#1- large sauce pan or something to boil water in.
#2- 5 and a half cups of water
#3- 6 cups of sugar
#4- a strainer of some type
#5- a larger glass jar container thingy

so, go ahead and get your water on the heat, bring it to a boil, add your sugar and stir till it fully dissolves. Take the pot off of heat.

If you like, you can shock the pan to speed up the cooling process, and that would be in cold water, with or without ice, not 2 in the pink, one in the stink for you sick minded people like me out there.You have just made simple syrup, yay you.

While your syrup is cooling, strain out the peels and place the booze in your larger jar.
When the syrup is room temp. add it to the large jar with the booze. As you do it it gets all cloudy, like when you drink absinthe and the water running off the sugar cube does the same... mmmm absinthe..
Next, place the large jar in a cool dark place again, and shake it twice a day or whenever you think about it.. Do this for three weeks and then bottle into bottles with a rubber stopper, and store in the freezer...

serve straight from the freezer, or mix it with tonic or soda water, add it to margaritas, sangria etc.

How to make Booze part 1

Alright friends, its time for me to teach all of you how to make kick ass booze..
My Recipe is for Limoncello, a traditionally homemade liqueur in Italy.. Having made the normal recipe numerous times I have been changing it around a bit and trying different citrus'. The recipe following is made with limes, but lemons and oranges rock too..
-What You Will Need- (listed here is just what you need for the first step)
1. 25 or so limes, organic if you want, most of mine are but its not too important.
2. Two 750-milliliter bottles of pure grain alcohol. I use Everclear which is 151 proof if you buy it in California, the best Everclear comes from Oregon and is 192 proof, if you can get it. And, Yes I believe the 192 Proof batch I made was better.
3. a good vegetable peeler. The one in the picture rocks and is cheap as shit.
4. a medium sized glass container, I am not sure exactly how big it is, I have bought different sizes over the years from Cost Plus and also the Container Store.
Step One
Wash all of your limes and your container. Next peel all of your limes, all you want is the peel, not the pith, and stuff all the peels in your container. Add your 2 bottles of Everclear and make sure the peels are all covered.
Place your Jar in a cool dark place and shake once a day for 2 weeks..

A CloseMinded Stupid Person

So, today i noticed something that fucking pissed me off. As I'm going back to my car I noticed that someone keyed the shit out of my Iraqi Freedom Veteran sticker.. WTF!!! Honestly, this is probably the first time that I am almost ashamed to live in the Bay.. Fuckin A!!.... It wasn't my fucking idea to invade Iraq, so don't fucking blame me..

New Tattoo Etc.

Hi everyone and anyone who reads this. So, Last thursday I got my newest tattoo. its just like the pic below of St. Michael. Also I had the Latin phrase Si vis pacem, para bellum on the back of my arms. It means if you want peace, prepare for war. Yes that is kinda morbid or dark.. Well sure, but I feel like it means that you have to be able to deal with the worst of things to get the best. Now, I know that I am not the best at dealing with shitty times in my own life, and that I am not the easiest person to get emotion out of... It is a rare person that has actually seen me mad.. I feel like there are much much worse things to get angry over but from my track of not getting mad, I'm not entirely sure what they are.. I think also that I know what I am capable of doing to a person physically (I have been trained to hurt people for 6 years). I think that I am scared of what I might do to someone and might not be able to stop myself where a normal person might.. I probably put up with more than I should and shrug things off that others would front about.. Having taken anti-depressants for almost 3 or so years I am probably emotionally turned off and fairly monotone in my emotional demeanor. I have also learned to keep things inside and put up walls, because this was needed to complete the greater good of the mission, whatever it may be.. Right now I'm just babbling. On a lighter note, I will be going to Berlin next month to referee an international lacrosse tournament. So I will get to spend about a week in Der Faterland..

Forget Tigers, Beware of Strippers

So, I learned a few things last Thursday at the strip club during my brothers bachelor party...
#1. When asked if you like it rough by a smokin hot stripper, say no, even if this is not true...
#2. When said stripper bites you once... Don't tell her that she is just flirting...
#3. Lastly, Check with your doctor to make sure you are up to date on all of your shots...

What to Tattoo??

So my friends and whoever may read this, I want some feedback on the next idea that i have for a tattoo. Im thinking of a half sleeve on my right arm with a just black and gray color scheme.. I want an image of St. Michael defeating the demons.. The image posted is one I have found done by Albrecht Durer. Please let me know... Thanks Homies..

SHOOTIN STUFF

What does one do when feeling kinda down.... you should go grab your boom stick, maybe two or three, four if you've got em, and go to the gun range...
I heart the gun range...there is just something very satisfying about putting little holes into paper or other things at a great distance.. also I believe that it equalizes my manliness with my knitting. ha. So I was gonna go with my Jarhead friend Billy the Kid, but due to a ton of poison oak from the weekend before he couldn't go...and i couldn't wait.
I put about 100 rounds through my HK p7m8 which is the coolest gun ever..its a squeeze cocker..which is really fun to say a few times in a row fast...Squeeze cocker Squeeze cocker Squeeze cocker.. This is the gun that I sleep with under my bed because at night I become a HyperAlert sorta paranoid Retired Jarhead, though I just figure it helps me sleep, and I live in Oakland, so you never know......
I also got to shoot my new, well super old but new to me .22 pistol that was my grandfathers.. It needed to be cleaned more and oiled but shoots great and is so soft on the hand and recoil that you could shoot it all day long...
Munchie Out.

Lessons From a Kitchen

As I am transitioning in my life to probably a job outside of a restaurant I thought I would share some things that I have learned from working in a kitchen...

1. Hand + Melted Sugar = ouch + Bubbling hand

2. Kitchen Spanish and Spanish learned in a kitchen is not acceptable in most social situations.

3. As masculine as Mexican culture is... they play more grab ass than anyone I know.

4. To stop a 6ft, 250 lb Mexican from trying to kiss your bald head... Pull a knife on him.

5. Sharper Knives are what you want to cut yourself with... not dull or serrated. Deli Slicer is even better, I didn't feel a thing. (see photo)

6. When husking corn, one can find substitutes for a lack of hair. (see photo)

7. The door to the pizza oven is almost as hot as the inside of the oven, and does not agree with forearms. (photo again)

8. When using the bathroom at George and Walts... Don't touch anything... just trust me on this.

9. If you are ever a guest of the state at Santa Rita... they have good bologna sandwiches, but don't drink the milk.

10. eating 20 Thai chilies in 2 min, may seem like a good idea at the time. but they are just as spicy leaving the body as entering.

11. One can make people think you are crazy by talking to yourself and having conversations with random kitchen tools.. i.e. arguing with 2 pairs of tongs...
12. Just about everything is better deep fried.. but dipping the tip of your fingers in hurts.
13. "So mos Pocos perro Locos" We are few, but we are CRAZY!
14. If three asians have a threesome.. I'd call it a "threewaysian."
15. There are only maybe 15 different songs on Spanish radio... and they play them over and over and over, and they all sound the same.
16. When people order meat well done, It makes me want to hurt them..
17. It costs about $2000 dollars to have someone help you over the border..

Disneyland Part 1

Oh Disneyland... I. Heart. Disneyland. As a solo visitor one has mucho time to think and contemplate things... I basically turned on my ipod and rocked out wandering to park. It was a perfect time and the weather was awesome. The tail end of spring break, overcast and cool with a chance of rain....Perfect.
In my time of thinking here are a few of my more inappropriate thoughts...
#1. Would it be acceptable for myself a grown man to walk around the park in one of the little princess outfits??
#2. If pineapple is suppose to make cum taste better...does this hold the same for a dole whip??
#3. Is it wrong for me to want to yell at little kids that are whining, crying, screaming, or throwing a tantrum......CHEER THE FUCK UP, THIS IS DISNEYLAND, THE HAPPIEST MOTHERFUCKING PLACE ON EARTH.....HA

LA VACAY

so i just took a mini vacation to Anaheim while Will and my dad were working a show at the convention center. On the way down we took the 101 which is a beautiful drive, but takes like 2 extra hours to get down to SoCal. I did however get to stop in Solvang to look up and check out an awesome LYS. At The Village Spinning & Weaving Shop, www.villagespinweave.com I met Marsha Novak and took some time to admire her cool store. She had a great selection of hand spun and yarns from larger manufacturers. Also she had a large selection of books and would have liked more time to browse. I held back and only bought .5 lbs of Peruvian tweed alpaca that is frickin sweet. although i have no idea what i will do with it.

HaySuss M, C, A.

Oh, My.... I almost Pissed Myself....
Remember Kids.
Stop Drop And Roll Won't Help You In Hell!!!!

No Catch For Old Tommy Lee Jones

so, i figured id take a lighter topic for this post. I just saw No country for old men. best film of the year yada yada yada. anyway. what did i learn from this good movie.
1. If you find a big ass case of money.....dump it out, go through it, check for trackers etc.
2. Don't go back to bring the dying drug trafficker water.
3. Tommy lee Jones is off his game. He didn't catch the guy. WTF! how hard is it to find a creepy dude with a fucked up haircut like that in Texas. what ever happened to the tommy lee jones from the fugitive that we all remember. He found Richard Kimble, who didn't really kill his wife, it was the one armed man, but still, maybe he should have watched that movie a few times over to remember how its done.
all in all, a good movie. check it out and sorry for the spoiler.
word.

5 years

I was thinking the other day about some stuff and wanted to know how many people can tell you exactly where they were and what they were doing 5 years ago? I can... I was in Bumfu#K nowhere kuait. To an infantry marine it was kinda like Christmas. 1400 rounds of linked 5.56 ammo for my light machine gun, 2 fragmentation grenades, and 1 AT4 anti tank rocket. What more could you ask from Uncle Samta Clause. It had been 2 weeks since I had last showered and would be another 2 months till I did again. After that the days would blend together, from desert, to village to city, they all look about the same. When people find out I was in iraq most ask "How Was it?" Some are sincere in there quiz, but most are not.. but to those who are not my friends or family, I say, How the Fu*k Do You Think It was. I could describe every single day but you still wouldn't get it. I can't describe what its like to smell rotting dead flesh, diesel fuel burning shit. how much sand I've actually eaten. How your body feels after going for weeks on little or no sleep, not much to eat and sometimes nothing to eat. So here I am five years later.. and what do we have to show for it... nothing, our country is in debt up to our ears, the economy sucks, and oil prices are still going up. Ive been dealing with depression for 4 years, taking anti-depressants for 3 years, Ive had ups and downs, dealt with a drug problem that i used to self medicate, I've had times where I could hardly function and found myself either working like a zombie, sleeping, not eating and crying or sobbing without being able to know why.
Life is much better now, and i enjoy things much like i used to.
There are things out there that someone 21 years old should not have to deal with, loss, death, fear of death, and to the point of coming to terms with your own possible death.. It changes you forever. Some might call it a loss of innocence. It sucks. But in the end we do it for a reason... we do it so that over 99% of the citizens and population wont have to. Im sorry that Code Pink in Berkeley cannot realize this and that their fight is at a much higher paygrade than to where they are taking it. They may say that they support our troops, but that is not possible when they tell you that deciding to join is wrong. Service to the country is no good for Berkeley, just the rest of the country I guess. I just hope they treat veterans such as myself and others better then they treated our vietnam vets, or in 10-15 years i fear we will see many homeless vets as we do today, suffering from drug and alcohol problems etc.
So Today, if you cant remember where you were 5 years ago, then find a veteran to thank.
Fu*k Off Code Pink.
Semper Fi.

sincerely,
An Angry Veteran.
out.