Forget Tigers, Beware of Strippers

So, I learned a few things last Thursday at the strip club during my brothers bachelor party...
#1. When asked if you like it rough by a smokin hot stripper, say no, even if this is not true...
#2. When said stripper bites you once... Don't tell her that she is just flirting...
#3. Lastly, Check with your doctor to make sure you are up to date on all of your shots...

What to Tattoo??

So my friends and whoever may read this, I want some feedback on the next idea that i have for a tattoo. Im thinking of a half sleeve on my right arm with a just black and gray color scheme.. I want an image of St. Michael defeating the demons.. The image posted is one I have found done by Albrecht Durer. Please let me know... Thanks Homies..

SHOOTIN STUFF

What does one do when feeling kinda down.... you should go grab your boom stick, maybe two or three, four if you've got em, and go to the gun range...
I heart the gun range...there is just something very satisfying about putting little holes into paper or other things at a great distance.. also I believe that it equalizes my manliness with my knitting. ha. So I was gonna go with my Jarhead friend Billy the Kid, but due to a ton of poison oak from the weekend before he couldn't go...and i couldn't wait.
I put about 100 rounds through my HK p7m8 which is the coolest gun ever..its a squeeze cocker..which is really fun to say a few times in a row fast...Squeeze cocker Squeeze cocker Squeeze cocker.. This is the gun that I sleep with under my bed because at night I become a HyperAlert sorta paranoid Retired Jarhead, though I just figure it helps me sleep, and I live in Oakland, so you never know......
I also got to shoot my new, well super old but new to me .22 pistol that was my grandfathers.. It needed to be cleaned more and oiled but shoots great and is so soft on the hand and recoil that you could shoot it all day long...
Munchie Out.

Lessons From a Kitchen

As I am transitioning in my life to probably a job outside of a restaurant I thought I would share some things that I have learned from working in a kitchen...

1. Hand + Melted Sugar = ouch + Bubbling hand

2. Kitchen Spanish and Spanish learned in a kitchen is not acceptable in most social situations.

3. As masculine as Mexican culture is... they play more grab ass than anyone I know.

4. To stop a 6ft, 250 lb Mexican from trying to kiss your bald head... Pull a knife on him.

5. Sharper Knives are what you want to cut yourself with... not dull or serrated. Deli Slicer is even better, I didn't feel a thing. (see photo)

6. When husking corn, one can find substitutes for a lack of hair. (see photo)

7. The door to the pizza oven is almost as hot as the inside of the oven, and does not agree with forearms. (photo again)

8. When using the bathroom at George and Walts... Don't touch anything... just trust me on this.

9. If you are ever a guest of the state at Santa Rita... they have good bologna sandwiches, but don't drink the milk.

10. eating 20 Thai chilies in 2 min, may seem like a good idea at the time. but they are just as spicy leaving the body as entering.

11. One can make people think you are crazy by talking to yourself and having conversations with random kitchen tools.. i.e. arguing with 2 pairs of tongs...
12. Just about everything is better deep fried.. but dipping the tip of your fingers in hurts.
13. "So mos Pocos perro Locos" We are few, but we are CRAZY!
14. If three asians have a threesome.. I'd call it a "threewaysian."
15. There are only maybe 15 different songs on Spanish radio... and they play them over and over and over, and they all sound the same.
16. When people order meat well done, It makes me want to hurt them..
17. It costs about $2000 dollars to have someone help you over the border..

Disneyland Part 1

Oh Disneyland... I. Heart. Disneyland. As a solo visitor one has mucho time to think and contemplate things... I basically turned on my ipod and rocked out wandering to park. It was a perfect time and the weather was awesome. The tail end of spring break, overcast and cool with a chance of rain....Perfect.
In my time of thinking here are a few of my more inappropriate thoughts...
#1. Would it be acceptable for myself a grown man to walk around the park in one of the little princess outfits??
#2. If pineapple is suppose to make cum taste better...does this hold the same for a dole whip??
#3. Is it wrong for me to want to yell at little kids that are whining, crying, screaming, or throwing a tantrum......CHEER THE FUCK UP, THIS IS DISNEYLAND, THE HAPPIEST MOTHERFUCKING PLACE ON EARTH.....HA

LA VACAY

so i just took a mini vacation to Anaheim while Will and my dad were working a show at the convention center. On the way down we took the 101 which is a beautiful drive, but takes like 2 extra hours to get down to SoCal. I did however get to stop in Solvang to look up and check out an awesome LYS. At The Village Spinning & Weaving Shop, www.villagespinweave.com I met Marsha Novak and took some time to admire her cool store. She had a great selection of hand spun and yarns from larger manufacturers. Also she had a large selection of books and would have liked more time to browse. I held back and only bought .5 lbs of Peruvian tweed alpaca that is frickin sweet. although i have no idea what i will do with it.