Happy Veterans Day, Marine Corps Birthday

In November 1775.I was born in a bomb crater.

My mother was an M16, and my father was the devil.

Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.

I eat concertina, piss napalm, and can shoot a round through a flea’s ass at 300 meters.

I travel the globe, festering on Anti-Americans, where ever I go, for the love of Mom, Chevrolet, baseball, and apple pie.

I’m a grunt. I’m the dirty, nasty, stinky, sweaty, filthy, beautiful little son of a bitch that’s kept the wolf away from the door for over 225 years.

I’m a United States Marine… We look like soldiers. Talk like sailors. And Slap the Shit out of both of em.

We stole the eagle from the Air force, the rope from the Army, and the anchor from the Navy. And on the seventh day, when god rested, we overran his perimeter, and we’ve been running the show ever since.

Warrior by day, Lover by night, Drunkard by choice, Marine by God…. Semper Fidelis.

The Greatest thing ever made

This is by far the most awesome, stupendous, glorious thing I have ever seen.
If God made Salt, it would be Bacon Salt
http://www.baconsalt.com/

Figs On Fire!!

I made dessert the other night...
here's what you need and how it goes.
6 or so fresh figs, i used black mission, with tops cut off, and quartered.
Tbs of butter.
a few Tbs of brown sugar.
brandy.
I made it just like a banana fosters. I used a cast iron skillet, but any saute pan would work.
melt butter, and add figs. cook them for a few minutes or until they are warm and softening up a bit. Sprinkle on the brown sugar and cook for another minute or so... and then to the fun part. just please watch your eyebrows... add a bunch of brandy and tilt your pan so that the brandy ignites and BAM, you've got your flambe.... at this point i choose to yell OPPA!! The alcohol will cook off and then just turn off the heat and spoon over vanilla ice cream....

a note to people at catered events....

To my people at catered events....
if you did not pay for the event.... and I always am told who did...
do not try to pass yourself off as the person who paid, because this will in no way make up for the fact that you are attempting to talk down to me and you are bieng very very Cunty.
this will not get you whatever it is that you feel you need...
to end this I will leave you with a paraphrased quote from fight club....
"Do not fuck with the people who make and serve your food"

Awesome New Song

Check it out guys, download it for free. Someone I know from high school.

http://davesmallen.com/america/

loss of words meaning + emotional disconnect

Ive been thinking a lot about why I am the way I am. For good and bad I believe being a Marine has had the most impact... To the core basic, I was trained for 6 years in how to kill. Physically it is fairly easy, emotionally not so.. In boot camp you are broken down from your normal being and trained/conditioned to accept something that society teaches you from the start is wrong. Throughout boot, you probably use the word kill 40-80 times a day.. how you ask... well, from things as simple as sweeping, everyone sweeps with a small brush to a cadence of "Sweep, and a response of Kill, Sweep Kill, Sweep, Kill". this is just one example, but after time the word itself loses its meaning. To this day I hear the word sweep, and my first thought is Kill. Very Pavlovian. By the end of thirteen weeks it is ingrained into you. By disassociating the word, you disassociate the act too. And in turn you end up disassociating your emotional connection. You learn to flip off your reception of emotion because it makes you a better Marine, because you put your own emotions on the back burner, and therefore become a better killer. Now, In my day I have seen and done some pretty messed up things. Things that 99% of our population don't want or need to see. Myself, like others I know, while we enjoy and hurtfully appreciate people thanking us for our service.. also sometimes feel ashamed, because we think that if people knew the kinds of things we have done, they would not feel the same toward us. We have learned to deal with these horrible things by putting them away, and not letting them affect us.. But in the end we come out of it, and as for myself I end up with the same emotional disconnect in other aspects of my life. I feel like I have dealt with some of my shit, but am still trying to figure out how to turn the switch back to on. Do I still love my Marine Corps, yes. And would I do it all over again, Hell Ya. Because for good and for bad I still bleed Camo Green. Semper Fi............ bitches!

Are lawn mowers like liberals to Rednecks???

So, in the wake of some crazy news in the last couple weeks. I had a thought. First of all, there are some crazy ass white people out there. We start with one guy, who, drunk out of his mind, cant get his lawn mower to start. So what does he do, he pulls out his sawed off shotgun and shoots it. Can you say Redneck, I can. Next we have, crazy white guy number two, who decides to shoot up a church over its liberal views. Maybe he's scared of the "gays", or the fact that come November, hes not going to have his good old redneck boy running the oval office. Of Course now hes gonna go to federal pound me in the ass prison and take showers with Bubba, who will whore his ass out for cigarettes. ha, karmas a bitch.
So, I ask, Do Crazy white rednecks think Liberals and Lawn Mowers are the same... Maybe they have redneck beer goggles. You tell me. Does anyone see resemblance with Nick Nolte's Mugshot??